


the steps you took away from me

by spiritypowers



Series: "Book One: Moon" Event [1]
Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Book One: Moon, M/M, aka more Chaotic Drabbles from urs truly, idk what im doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-25
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:49:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24377524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiritypowers/pseuds/spiritypowers
Summary: Ethari waits for his family to return home from a very important mission. Written for raayllum/wordswithdragons‘s “Book One: Moon” event.
Relationships: Ethari/Runaan (The Dragon Prince)
Series: "Book One: Moon" Event [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1760263
Comments: 10
Kudos: 64





	1. Part I

**Author's Note:**

> oh my GOD you’d THINK i’d have the HANG OF THIS AFTER WRITING “IF TIME IS MONEY” but i DON’T just TAKE IT

After a few years of being married, Ethari knows that the worst arguments aren’t the ones with raised voices. Those are few and far between, and faster to resolve, in the end. It’s the ones with frantic whispers, the ones that have been repeated over and over again because you can’t have this discussion when your surrogate daughter is around. The ones you have to save for after she’s in bed, because as much as you love your husband, he’s stubborn and difficult at times and neither of you can ever reach an agreement on this.

“She’s ready. She’s going.”

Ethari’s jaw clenches, and he sets his workpiece down. “What is this, Runaan? Pride?”

“Pardon?”

Ethari turns his chair around to face him. “You know as well as I do why I’m concerned. We’ve both seen her when she trains. You know better than I the split second she takes before she strikes. And you think she’ll be able to carry out a mission as big as this one?”

“She’s getting better. She’s —”

“And you think  _ now _ is the time to prove it? Of all missions, one straight from the Dragon Queen? When you know the stakes are higher—”

“And she’ll understand better what’s at stake.”

“Will she? She’s so young, and she’s still—” Ethari inhales slowly through his nose. “This isn’t training.”

“You think I don’t know that?”

“And you’re ready for the chance that she might fall short when you all need her most? The chance that she’ll put the rest of the troupe in danger, including you? Including herself?”

Something in his husband’s eyes flickers. “I… believe in her.”

“So do I. But—”

“She is coming with the group tomorrow, when we leave. She’s been preparing for it; it’s final.”

“So when the time comes to take a real life, you think she won’t hesitate this time?”

Runaan is quiet. “She knows what’s at stake,” is all he says. Ethari sighs, turning back to his workpiece, only softening when Runaan joins his side, his hand soft on his arm. “I don’t want to end our last night before we leave like this.”

“Neither do I.” Ethari looks at his husband, traces the soft lines in his expression. “You really think she can do this?”

“I do.”

Ethari nods slowly. “I suppose there’s no more arguing about it until after you get back.”

“And by then we’ll both have proven me right.” There’s a hint of playfulness in his voice, and Ethari leans into it.

“I’m sure I can find more ways to argue about it after the fact,” he says lightly, and Runaan’s mouth twitches up in fond amusement, before they’re pressed to his forehead.

“Let’s get some sleep. The ceremony is early, tomorrow.”

Ethari looks back at the blade he’s been working on; he’ll have time to work on it while he waits for his family to come back. “Alright,” he agrees, and he takes his husband’s hand as they retire to bed together for the last time in at least a month. Travelling across the border always takes a little more time than they anticipate, after all.

Their little disagreement of the past few weeks is nearly forgotten at the flower ceremony, the carefully crafted bloom heavy in Ethari’s hands as he places it in Runaan’s. He almost doesn’t want to give it.

_ My heart goes out with this one _ .

_ I promise I will return your heart to you. _

Ethari visits the fountain the morning after they leave. As long as their blooms remain afloat, so will he.


	2. Part II

His morning rituals of greeting Runaan and Rayla’s blooms good morning are a part of his routine now, an extension of an old habit, back when it was just Runaan on missions. He’d even gotten Rayla in on it, when she’d been very little.

“Can he hear us?” she’d asked, five years old and wide-eyed. Still smaller than all the other children and perhaps a little left out because of it. She’d never seemed to mind. Ethari hadn’t wanted to lie, at the time, but he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy humouring little Rayla’s imagination.

“He can’t hear us,” he’d said, “but I think he can feel it. Like a warm, invisible hug. A reminder that we’re thinking of him, and that we love him.”

“Oh.” She’d stared at Runaan’s flower, then yelled, “We love you, Runaan!” as if the “warm feeling” would be stronger if she was even louder. The bloom had seemed to glow in response, and Ethari had belly-laughed, amused and softened by their new little charge’s innocence. Runaan hadn’t had quite the same response when Ethari had told him the story upon his return, but it had been his idea to treat Rayla to an extra helping of Moonberry Surprise, and it was all he needed to know that Runaan had indeed felt that “invisible hug” (even if Ethari had mostly just made it up).

It’s strange, sitting by the fountain without her. He feels a little bit crazy, just talking to their flowers about things he’s seen, or about how his work is coming along. Some hotshot trainee isn’t fast enough and keeps blaming it on his blades, bringing them back to Ethari with some new grievance every day. It’s annoying, but he knows Rayla would get a kick out of the story. 

They’re probably at the palace, by now. His stomach churns as he attempts to go about his day, “fixing” the flawless blades and working on other projects. Sculpting some welcome presents for Rayla and Runaan, when they return. He talks to their flowers about them that evening, the excitement of surprising them alleviating some of the nervous energy in his gut. He just has to get through the next few days, and then everything will be fine.

He smiles a little. Rayla will get to rise above the shadow her parents left, after all. A small part of him thinks that they might be proud of her, but it’s a voice he has to shut up immediately, because they hadn’t been the people he thought he’d known, after all. The Tiadrin and Lain he’d known would never have run from anything. But the undeniable fact of the Egg’s demise, and the Dragon King’s death…

Neither Runaan nor Rayla had openly mourned the day they’d received the news. He’d heard muffled sobs from Rayla’s room that night, but she’d been stonefaced as they’d performed the Ghosting ceremony the next day. 

Ethari almost doesn’t register it at first, deep in his thoughts as he sits by the fountain that night. A dip of one of the flowers’ petals into the water, before slowly sinking below. Then another, more quickly this time. His heart drops as, one by one, they sink below the surface. Something went wrong. Were they found? Were they able to complete the mission?

A crowd begins to gather around the fountain, but he doesn’t hear anything, doesn’t see anything else, as he waits, his eyes on Runaan and Rayla’s blooms. They remain above the surface, even as all the others sink to the bottom.

He nearly sobs in relief. They’re okay. They’re… What does this mean? Surely Runaan was able to get the message out in time, if he’s still alive. And what of Rayla?

The crowd disperses, but he doesn’t sleep that night. He stays by the fountain, alone in the deepest dark of night, his eyelids heavy. But the flowers still glow, floating in their slow circle around the center of the fountain.

They’re alive. Right now, that’s all he needs.


	3. Part III

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After about a week, Ethari finally learns more of what's become of his family.

The next week feels darker than ever. A series of memorials are held for the fallen members of the group. Ethari grieves with the families, with old friends, all the while glancing back at the two remaining flowers on the water. 

He still talks to them. He’s sure he looks like a madelf now, wishing the flowers safety and a swift journey home. A message reaches the Silvergrove: the human king is dead. No word about his son yet, which may mean that the mission had failed after all. He knows his husband, knows that he won’t rest until they’ve finished what they set out to do.

A dark, gnawing part of him wonders what Rayla’s role was, in all of this. If it was just misfortune—bad things happen all the time, it’s an occupational hazard for an assassin—or if, in spite of it all, he was right.

_ “Are you sure she’s… assassin material?” _ Ethari’s question from years ago echoes in his head. He’d only been a little concerned back then, and primarily for her sake.

_ “Why not? She shows great promise.” _ Something in Ethari aches as he remembers the way his husband looked that day. Rayla had been ten years old, officially evaluated for the first time. The Guild had been impressed, and Runaan’s pride had shone in his eyes.

_ “I’m not saying she isn’t a skilled fighter. She absolutely is, just like her parents and just like you, but… This is  _ Rayla _.” _

_ “What does that mean?” _

_ “She’s… gentle, all things considered.” _

Runaan had laughed back then, a rare moment for him. He’d been in such a good mood that day.  _ “Gentle? Have you forgotten all the trouble she used to get into, for getting into fights with other children at school?” _

_ “Those are schoolground fights, love. Not… Besides, this is also the child that goes and talks to the adoraburrs every day after school. You know she’s named nearly every one of them?” _

_ “That’s different.”  _

_ “She’s not like you and the other assassins, Runaan. She’s… She’s like her father. She’s like me. She’s stronger, but still… so softhearted inside.” _

Runaan had sobered a little, his expression pensive as he had mulled it over. Ethari could still remember his face so clearly, the way lines had creased ever so slightly in his forehead.  _ “She’s still young. We’ll work on it in training.” _

_ “I don’t think this can be trained out of her, Runaan.” _

_ “She can be greater than any of us in the Guild, someday. I know she can.” _

There weren’t many things Runaan believed in. But he had believed in her, and that had been enough.

“Do you still think she can do it?” Ethari whispers, sitting by the fountain one more time that evening. The center of town is empty by now, everyone settled back in their homes for the night. He’s the only one that checks the fountain anymore, the bereaved still trying to heal. He sighs. “Where are you, love?”

And then, Runaan’s flower wobbles. A petal dips in, then back up, and Ethari’s heart seizes.  _ No no no no _ —

The flower stabilizes, and for a split second, Ethari dares to hope. But then, all at once, it sinks beneath the surface, the quiet splash as it disappears below echoing throughout the village.

For a moment, it doesn’t feel real. At any moment, the fountain will disappear and he’ll be back in bed, his heart pounding as he gasps for air. He’ll check the fountain and the two flowers will still be floating in their slow circle, lights still steadily glowing.

But the cold air is too biting, and as much as he wishes he wasn’t, he is wide awake, and this is the truth.

Ethari covers his mouth to muffle the sob that comes unbidden, his chest hollow as tears stream down his face. He hates the commotion he’s making, like the desperate sound of a lost, wounded animal as he weeps into his hands.

His husband has fallen. His heart is gone forever.

Through his tears, Ethari sees Rayla’s flower, still floating steadily. Fresh tears leak out and the empty hole in his chest burns in spite of himself. 

_ What have you done? _


End file.
